Ever wanted to know which books to read to improve your Sugaring skills?
It’s probably the question I’ve been asked most often in recent years.
Well, it depends. What exactly do you want to improve?
Below, I’ve listed the books that have most influenced my Sugaring. These books helped me become a more persuasive Sugar Baby. (Please note as much as I like cookies, the links in this post are Amazon links which place a cookie on your computer. Don’t want to give me a cookie? Avoid the links and search for the book title in your preferred store.)
Don’t feel you need to read all the books.
Instead, select the one or two books that most appeal to you. To help you find your favs, I’ve added my main lessons from each book plus some of my favorite quotes.
These books will help you become a better Sugar Baby:
The Boron Letters – by Gary Halbert
These letters helped me understand what effective marketing oneself is + good writing. Whether you’re crafting a profile, sending a message (email or text or chatting via messenger) or having a conversation. You are communicating through your words. You have to explain your thoughts and guide your prospective Sugar Daddy’s in a direction. That direction? The direction of getting you what you want.
I applied the concepts and frameworks to better understanding my Sugar Daddy’s by the perception I gave from how I communicated.
“It’s a matter of timing. Selling is like seduction. If you ask a woman to go to bed with you, whether or not she says ‘yes’ is largely a matter of when you ask her.” Gary Halbert
At heart, these letter showed me how to keeps someone’s attention through storytelling. These letters is not to read in one go, but it’s perfect for “grazing”—reading a letter now and then for inspiration but most importantly applying the knowledge you learn.
How To Sell Yourself To Others – by Elmer Wheeler
This was written in 1947, I have a reprinted version from 1977 that was given to me by my Sugar Daddy (Mr. X) who is no longer with us (on his death certificate, the occupation that was listed: Master Negotiator). I’ll share the story of how that relationship came to be because he is the reason why I moved to Atlanta another time. BUT…
…This book changed my entire Sugar Baby Lifestyle.
This one book was my game-changer. I took the concepts of what was being said and applied it to my entire Sugaring. It changed everything. I awoke a superpower that was within me. My words changed my lifestyle.
“Use word magic that will arouse a desire within the other person to want to “buy” what you are suggesting…what makes him thirsty, what makes him hungry, for things in life. You might appeal to a need at the other person, or to a daydream. Their hopes, desires, wishes, faults, troubles, all must be appealed to.” Elmer Wheeler
I couldn’t find the exact copy I have as it was given to me.
BONUS Book: The Sugar Daddy Formula
I wrote the book that I would have wanted to have when navigating this lifestyle. Because I couldn’t find a book that explained “the how”, “what to do”, and most importantly “the why.” I had to piece together my Sugar Education with the foundation of marketing, selling, psychology, persuasion, seduction, and negotiating. The Sugar Daddy Formula is the foundation I would have wanted.
The Adweek Copywriting Handbook – by Joseph Sugarman
This helped me with being creative with hooking my prospects when it came to messages, how I would position my ask to make a prospective Sugar Daddy listen, and so much more I gained.
“If the reader doesn’t read your very first sentence, chances are that he or she won’t read your second sentence. Now if the first sentence is so important, what can you do to make it so compelling to read, so simple, and so interesting that your readers-every one of them-will read it in its entirety? The answer: Make it short.” Joseph Sugarman
Ca$hvertising – by Drew Eric Whitman
This book taught me the principle of directing mental movies in your reader’s mind. It’s how I became better at crafting profiles and pitching the relationship where my prospects was eager to have.
“(…) when you appeal to people’s desires, you create a drive that motivates them to take an action that will fulfill that desire as soon as possible. Drew Eric Whitman
Another quote that I like by Whitman: “(…) by using specific visual words, you can give your audience a sense of what it’s like to actually interact with your product or enjoy the benefits of your service—to demonstrate its use inside their minds—long before they actually buy it. This vicarious pleasure is where the persuasion begins, because the first use of any product is inside the consumers’ minds. (Stop. Read that last sentence again.) Imagining the use of something that appeals to you increases your desire for it.”
Bargaining for Advantage: Negotiation Strategies for Reasonable People – by G. Richard Shell
When wanting to have someone provide you with what you are seeking. From my experience it helps to know what is that you want that person to provide. By signing up to a Sugar Daddy dating site wasn’t enough. I had to know what I wanted and how I was going to convey that to my prospects along with clearing away any roadblocks that if he said, “No.” This books starts from the idea that you must first “know thyself” before you try to negotiate with others. It identifies different styles of negotiating and tools on how each one can work for you under different circumstances.
“Your personal negotiation style is a critical variable in bargaining. If you don’t know what your instincts and intuitions will tell you to do under different conditions, you will have a great deal of trouble planning effective strategies and responses.” G. Richard Shell
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion – by Robert B. Cialdini
This book is about Influence (obviously right) but it’s about sales negotiations. It lays out the psychology of positioning prior to a sales negotiation. This book helped me formulate a process before I pitched what I was seeking. I found this extremely helpful when setting the foundation to my special relationships to help with my positioning and showcasing my worth along with how I discussed the arrangement I wanted.
“It is much more profitable for salespeople to present the expensive item first, not only because to fail to do so will lose the influence of the contrast principle; to fail to do so will also cause the principle to work actively against them. Presenting an inexpensive product first and following it with an expensive one will cause the expensive item to seem even more costly as a result.” Robert B. Cialdini
How to Win Friends and Influence People – by Dale Carnegie
The premise of the book is that when you are nice to people they are more likely to be nice back. What I found is that in order to get what I wanted; I needed the cooperation of the Sugar Daddy. His cooperation allowed me to pave the way for him to provide.
Here’s a summary of how I used the book for Sugaring:
- Don’t criticize, condemn or complain
- Give honest and sincere appreciation
- Arouse an eager want
- Become genuinely interested in other people
- Be a good listener – encourage others to talk about themselves
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interests
- Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely
- Only way to get from an argument is to avoid it
- Show respect for others’ opinions (never say “you’re wrong”)
- Get the other person saying “Yes, yes” immediately
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
- Let the other person feel that the idea is his/hers
- Make the other person happy about doing the thing that you suggest
“You can win more business in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years trying to get other people interested in you”. Dale Carnegie
The Art Of Seduction – by Robert Greene
This book helped me find the seducer within me. We all have the ability to seduce. The Art Of Seduction covers it. This book allows you to try on different personality types until you find the right one for you and how to use your type to seduce.
“Every seduction has two elements that you must analyze and understand: first, yourself and what is seductive about you; and second, your target and the actions that will penetrate their defenses and create surrender.” Robert Greene
While these books focus on marketing, selling, and psychology. I’ve applied the concepts to Sugaring.
After all, we are marketing ourselves and pitching the relationship that we are wanting to have that’ll lead to him providing.
Here are a few books that I’ve been able to pick up a few tips along the way…
Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov
I read this out of curiosity (I mean how can you not with the title!?!) and found it insightful with a capital “I”. As different men love different types of women. It offers a very unique perspective into why men gravitate towards women who are strong and self-aware (the Bitch). And it truly helps any Sugar Baby in the Sugar Psych Department with taking ownership of what you want. If you mix this with The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene + Entwine this with your Sugaring = A Sugar Daddy won’t know what happened!
“Live by your own rules. Move to your rhythm, instead of dancing to the beat of someone else’s drum. Decide how you want to be treated. Choose what you will or will not tolerate. Leave if you don’t get what you want.” Sherry Argov
Ho Tactics: How to MindF**k A Man into Spending, Spoiling, and Sponsoring – by G.L. Lambert
This book had me at “MindF**k.” I took some of the tactics and put them alongside of how I wanted to use it with Sugaring. Ho Tactics alone did not work for me when trying to set the foundation with a long-term Benefactor (mixing other tactics with it did) but it worked for quick wins for short-term relationships, and for what I wanted to get out of someone even if I haven’t spoken to them for ages.
“Real Discipline: Wanting something, understanding why you want it, and then making a conscious and unwavering decision to abstain because you don’t need it. Fake Discipline: Wanting something, not fully understanding why you want it so bad, and trying to hold out using willpower to fight the must have feeling.” G.L. Lambert
The Power of the Pussy – by Kara King
After reading this book, I never looked at my pussy the same way again. I have the feeling you won’t either. Our pussy is a source of power. Don’t give it away. This book always gives me a jolt of confidence. Kara even suggests that you write down all that you want from a man. And the list of what you want is your asking and your pussy will get it for you. Men will either disappear because they can’t afford it, or they’ll give you your asking price. Soooo, “Put your pussy on a pedestal.” Yessssss!!!!!
“Pussy is a commodity. Men wouldn’t pay for it, if it didn’t have value.” Kara King
So, follow your curiosity and find books around what you want to improve.
Don’t just read it. Apply what you learn by implementing.
IMPORTANT: Information is powerful, but on its own it’s not enough. It’s what you do with it. You need more than just information. You need tools. You need community. You need support. You need accountability. Maybe this might be just what you need to have alongside you.