“Why are you here?”
“What are you looking for?”
“What do you want?”
“What do you want to provide?”
“But what do you want?
“I’m cool with whatever you want as long as you provide me with what I need.”
“Help me by not having me say it, you should know!”
Trying to set the foundation of a beneficial relationship is the worst!
Neither person is taking the reins, yet both people are looking for the other one to do so.
And the only thing you are left with is being stuck in frustration (what? it’s a thing).
And it’s even harder when what you are hoping to get (the allowance, upgraded lifestyle, becoming debt-free, or simply being able to pick his brain to get you pointed in the right direction of financial abundance) is on the line.
You know where I’m going with this… right?
We find ourselves in an awkward conversation and are both waiting for the other to move the conversation forward.
By now you know that you should be asking questions and creating magical sparks to show him you are the one. But at some point, you’re going to have to transition out of ‘getting to know you land,’ and into the core of WHY YOU ARE HERE: show me the money! (Ok, I couldn’t resist saying that.)
But really, can he provide you with what you are seeking? Do you even know? If you’re not practiced at this, THIS WILL BE HARD AS HELL.
You know you need to get to the heart of the conversation—getting what you want—but you don’t want to sound overeager, pushy, and only interested in one thing (*cue* Lauyrn Hill).
So instead, you end up on these long and drawn out pointless conversations, hearing how he wants to do all the things to your body mixed in with more pic requests because you don’t know how to guide the conversation to the next phase. (To be clear, we want him to talk, but we don’t want him to wander off into a garden of irrelevant tangents, which he will do.)
But once again, this comes down to having the right language tools.
When you’ve got the right framework, everything becomes easier.
And when you begin to practice it, you’ll feel a lot more at ease, too.
Most of the time, you’ll find yourself overthinking it, swiping through your mental log of things you could possibly say to get to the point. “Sooooooooo, about that, ummm, allowance?”
If you memorize the following to start your transition, you never have to worry about this. Anytime you’re ready to start talking about setting the foundation, you can use this to guide him to the next phase of the conversation.
Here’s one of my transitions of what I say when it’s time to get down to it:
I start it with… “I hope I’m not crossing the line here…”
Simple. Effective. And it’s a useful transition.
But more than that, it sets the tone for the conversation you want to have to avoid having your time wasted.
Keep in mind that you are pitching the relationship.
When you pitch the relationship that he eagerly wants to have with you, you transition the conversation to address your needs and determine if he has any objections.
The language you choose shapes the way you are perceived. Being able to guide the conversation in a way that feels genuine is one of the best things you can learn.
Remember: He wants you to be the one. You need to show him why you are the one and pave the way for him to provide the thing you want because, he wants to give it to you.
And by using language that demonstrates that, it showcases your worth. He’ll believe you are the one. And his belief in you being able to provide the very thing he wants or feels as though he needs is the most important first step in selling the relationship.
You don’t pitch the arrangement; you pitch the relationship.
Eager to learn how to ‘flip the switch?’ When you’re trying to upgrade your lifestyle and benefit from your relationships, and you have no idea if you’re doing it right.
And there are 1,000,000 questions.
And WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO ASK ABOUT THIS?
How do you actually get him to provide?
And have him see you as worth it?
Should I say this, or say that?
Where do you find the right wealthy man in the first place?