Lies Sugar Daddies Tell You

“I can’t afford you.”

“Our company just ‘reorganized’… blah blah… uncertainty… blah blah… possible instability… blah blah…”

“I don’t want to feel like I’m buying you.”

“What about me? What do I get if I spoil you?”

“I just want to make sure I’m getting my money’s worth out of the times I see you.”

“Why does it have to be so transactional?”

“I’ve been thinking about it and I’m not sure this whole sugar thing is for me.”

“I will put that in your account this week” Later this week…. “My account has been hacked and bank is looking into it.”

If you’re a Sugar Baby, you’ve heard this or a version of it in response to asking for what you hope to receive out of the relationship.

You start with a feeling of excitement. You are engaging with a Sugar Daddy and equate that to the possibility of having additional money and a better lifestyle!

They ask you about what you want, and that’s when things hit rock bottom…. fast.

Their mouth opens.

They gasp.

And they say, “I can’t afford you.” Or better yet “poof” and they are gone.

I’m here to tell you that they’re lying.

Are there Sugar Daddies in the world that really truly cannot afford you? Yes, and some men are actually hiding behind the role of a Sugar Daddy to get what they want from you and aren’t really Sugar Daddies. But for that one who can afford you and still doesn’t want to give you what you want when he can.

The Sugar Daddies who are truly wealthy that you attract can actually afford you.

They have some disposable income that they can choose to spend on whatever they wish. They make choices on what to spend their money on and indulge in.

So if that’s true, why are they lying to you?

Why don’t they want to provide it to you?

Simply stated, it’s because what you want and desire is not equating to the value you’ve allowed them to perceive of you on their own.

You see, without your focused attention on creating the worth you feel like you deserve, the Sugar Daddy has no choice but to create that worth on your behalf. More often than not, they’ll get it wrong. Grossly wrong.

What’s your value? Nordstrom or Walmart

Some people say that Walmart is where you get the most value for your money. If you’ve ever shopped at Walmart you can go inside and pick up items at a fraction of the cost vs going to another store.

Why would anyone want to pay more when they can save money?

People aren’t picketing outside Nordstrom with signs that say “I can’t afford it.” No, actually, quite the opposite. Nordstrom is known for being quite expensive, but they’re known for their great service. That’s why they can charge the prices they do.

Nordstrom designed its worth very carefully. The company stated it to the world, so that the world couldn’t state it for them.

Sugar Daddies will happily provide you more for his perceived value of you. In fact, you can use the power of your value to increase his generosity.

Each and Every one of you is in the business of selling. Do you know what you are selling?

10 mistakes you may have unintentionally made when not designing your worth:

1. You didn’t figure out your ideal Sugar Daddy (the ones that will value you).

2. You didn’t create a Sugar Daddy Experience to speak to those Sugar Daddies mostly or only.

3. You let the Sugar Daddies define your worth for you. Whenever someone said they couldn’t afford you, you believed them and scrutinized your wants accordingly.

4. You base your worth and what you hope to receive out of the relationship on other Sugar Babies around you, rather than on your own value.

5. You haven’t focused on creating an amazing Sugar Daddy experience, because you spent your time seeking what you can get out of a Sugar Daddy versus positioning yourself to be the one for him.

6. You believe there is something magical about the Sugar Babies who get what they want, and a piece of that magic is something that you’re hard-pressed to obtain.

7. You feel as though what you are seeking isn’t justifiable to why a Sugar Daddy would provide what you are seeking, rather than focusing on exactly what you will actually do if someone provided you with his financial generosity (because part of you feels there aren’t enough Sugar Daddies out there to want to provide you with what you want if you didn’t label yourself a Sugar Baby).

8. Your have a list of expectations to be with you, and you can’t justify it to your potential Sugar Daddy.

9. You have Sugar Daddies who have gave you too little and they are requesting so much, and now you are getting a stampede of Sugar Daddies who are only wanting to give you little to nothing for what they are wanting in return.

10. And lastly, if a Sugar Daddy asked you for what you want, you answered them right away, losing an opportunity to discuss what they wanted (i.e. building more worth through a conversation with them).

As a result of this burning cycle of low worth, there is a sense of overwhelm and lack, rather than a sense of growth and confidence. Want a clear path toward higher worth and getting what you want?

My recommendation is to spend some time thinking about how you might be able to better establish your worth from the onset and manage Sugar Daddies Experiences. If you can align what you are offering your Sugar Daddy with greater value and your ideal Sugar Daddy, you will get what you want and hear the words “I can’t afford you” less and less.

The Lesson: “Why should a Sugar Daddy want to provide you with anything?” It’s not that they can’t afford you. They don’t want to because of how you are coming across. Your value to them is ZERO. It’s all in your approach. Your current approach isn’t working because the current mindset that you have doesn’t allow you to see what you are selling and we are all in the business of selling something to get what we want.

What things are you doing to create a preconceived value inside the minds of your Sugar Daddy? If you haven’t, what are you struggling with? Comment over on the Sugar Baby Advice and I promise to monitor the comments and reply back with some helpful advice.

Post your question below

Comments 130

  1. lmh

    So, I was actually approached by a person whom frequents a local place I hang out at, we know the same people and have gone a few places as a group but never a date/just he and I. About a week after the last time we all hung out as a group he approached me and point blank asked me “what do I want” I was confused because I do not consider myself a SB. My past relationship was monogamous, I did travel very very often and he did completely take care of everything, rent car bills, we were exclusive. No arrangement just the way it was, so i thought. Well when the guy asked about my wants, I didn’t even know what to say, he was aware I was about to lease a house so he says, I will pay your rent, what else do you want, well…to be honest I still didn’t know as this was brought up with out warning, so I thought something simple, extra cash for personal maintenance, hair, nails etc. Rent totaled $1600 and I answered my “want” with $2,000, $400 for spending cash or what ever. He immediately said no! No way! That he wanted to see me 1-2 times a week, no strings attached and no communications really…made it clear the deal was sexual and really only to please him. I didn’t like that and we didn’t talk for a few weeks, ran into him again, he asked again and I said exactly the same, he said the rent was all he wanted to contribute and asked me to go to his car to give him a preview!!!! I laughed in his face and said thats not the way this works, you want intimacy you need to make the girl excited to want to love on you, personal connection, kindness and a friendship with a spark. He seemed appalled I suggested that and said his work schedule wouldn’t permit and that he simply wasn’t interested. cool cool neither am I then. He really thought that I would do his sexual favor right then and there on good faith! Wrong. The guy is young, has about 1mm in auto mobiles and a thriving business….I told him if he is looking for a whore he needed to look somewhere else.

    1. Post
      Taylor Jones

      From what I gather you are looking at this differently from how your prospects are. Yes, you want what you want. But why would another person want to provide it? What benefit is it to them? If you are leading with the finacial expectation of what you hope to get out of someone. What are you going to give up to get it? When you are dealing with a man he will bring up sex. You will either leverage sex. I’m not going to sugarcoat it. You know already know what you are if you do. If you are not leveraging sex. Than you need to know what you are selling to have someone want to provide in the way that you want. Really think about that. It would only stand to reason that how you approach this lifestyle or getting anyone to do anything for you…well…you are going to need the cooperation of that person. How are you going to sell the other person on your wants? If you don’t know what you are selling, perhaps we should talk to see how I can help.

      1. Joan

        Well hello there, am currently involved with a married sugar daddy, but he’s not supporting me the way I feel he should, he gives just pocket change and says he’s experiencing a financial crisis, problem is, when he wants to be with me, we go to expensive places and spend lots of money, how do I get him to provide with out me asking and coming out too needy and demanding,

        1. Post
          Taylor Jones

          Why the hesitation in asking? He’s married. You know your place. He gives, you take, and you keep coming back. Why would he feel the need to give more, if you keep taking and coming back? You my SugarSister will have to talk to him. There are no magic words that I give. I help women better communicate what they are wanting to say. It takes on having a better understanding of the hesitation (why you are hesitant to begin with), and understanding of the type of relationship that has been cultivated. In which I would need to have an in-death discussion with you. From what I gather you don’t want to come across as needy, but you are with a married man. What are you there for? Expensive places to visit? You are here for a reason. And perhaps he was able to manipulate you with his situation. Would you be there if he gave nothing? Probably not. After all there would be no benefit. If you don’t place a value on yourself than the other person will set one for you. And he has. It’s only a matter of time before you start resenting him. When you realize what you are giving up is worth more, but he is getting it at a bargain.

        2. Sandra Wallace

          Ive been talking to one for almost a month thats in the middle of a “divorce” and “cant wait to meet me” wants me to send pics and talk dirty meanwhile Im struggling with bills. He wants to feel special and wanted by a pretty girl without having to open his wallet. A lot of them do this. Move on and find someone who understands you love feeling spoiled. “Financial crisis” is him waving a “maybe” check in front of your face while he pretends to be broke. Sounds like he doesnt understand what the whole concept of a Sugar Daddy is

  2. Anon

    Okay, I want to make something clear before I start my rant. I don’t have anything against sugardaddies nor the girls that are interested in them.

    Recently a good friend of mine has started talking to a sugardaddy and she has been receiving gifts and money. I knew something was up when she asked for my ZIP code, but I really didn’t think much of it. She had asked it a few times before just to send me a card or b-day gift.
    Sadly, this time, she gave my address/ZIP code without my consent, the goddamn place where I and my family live, to her sugardaddy as a destination for the gifts to be send to. I really don’t know what to do, I feel very frustrated right now. I just don’t feel comfortable with the idea of him knowing where I live.
    My friend and him haven’t met eachother in person and she is kind of the person to steal all of his money and just walk away. He thinks she lives at my place, what if she gets him mad and he just throws a brick through the window.
    I really don’t know what to do, any thoughts on my story?
    Sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes. English is not my first language.

    1. Post
      Taylor Jones

      This is outside the realm of the lifestyle (not a Sugar Baby dilemma). It’s the violation of the trust that was broken and that would need to be addressed with your friend directly. You should let your family know the situation (after all, they live there too). You can always return to sender (if someone crosses the line and puts your home in danger then there’s he authorities- but you didn’t need me to tell you that). It seems as though there is more to this to come across me and how deep it truly goes and the role that is being played. Why protect a so-called friend who used you? Without addrsssing this with your family unless there is more to the story.

  3. tara

    iam happy i came across this page , so my issue is i have had about 2 sugar daddies but all this time I have never really gotten anything out of it.I am sort off awkward on this situation I usually please them first and wait abit before i get money which i never get anything in return. So my question is how a i suppose to ask and should sleeping come after asking money , cause i dont want to put them off like i guess i need a manual .Thank you

    1. Post
      Taylor Jones

      You don’t want to put them off, but yet you will give yourself without getting anything in return. How does that feel to be used? How many more times will you give yourself before you STOP? Now let me ask you a question: Why are you here? Really think about that. The current method of how you are going about this isn’t yielding the results you were looking to achieve. You need a new game plan. And it’s not a matter of “how are you suppose to ask”, it’s your approach in going about this entirely. Without having the right approach, you won’t know how to position yourself to ask the question to better position yourself. I am sure you know that it’s not what you say but how you say it. If you would like to see how I can help you to change your approach and start getting on the path we should talk.

  4. Urma

    Okay, so I’m just super curious as to my sugar daddies true financial situation. It bothers me bc it’s confusing and it would freak me out if he lied, idk why. On SA he stated hes worth 5 million, and makes 1 million a year. This is what I KNOW: his grandfather owned a trade company that he took it over, then later on sold it. He started his own e-commerce business (where he says he makes most of his money) and I have seen his office. It’s not crazy nice, but it has a small warehouse attached. He had no problem at all with a 3 k allowance right off the bat. I’ve gone shopping with him and he carries a shit ton of cash with him and spends randomly on random shit. He has a Cadillac car. He has a small collection of watches that includes a 20,000 gold Rolex. His apartment is not crazy nice (says he’s going through divorce, seems legit, talks about it alot), but his apartment does look recently moved in, looks like a few months stage. Reason I’m confused: his “space” such as office and apartment isn’t nice, but it has nice shit in it. He spends like no big deal. Reason why I care is because he’s super chill, we really get along, but a part of me is like, is he lying and isn’t as rich as he says he is and is doing something illegal (ALWAYS cash), still married, or am I worrying over something that truly doesn’t matter? I want to increase allowance over the summer, but I don’t wanna push it since he’s SO chill, down to hangout whenever is most convenient. I have anxiety over asking for too much from him (probs dumb i know). So, any advice regarding if he’s lying? if i should even care? and, is asking for 5 k allowance after 2-3 months too soon and too much?

    1. Post
      Taylor Jones

      We only trust actions in this lifestyle. And whether he is lying doesn’t matter as long as he is providing in the way that he agreed. The #1 thing men lie about is their income. Whether asking for $5K is too soon or not, it will be dependent upon “how” you go about asking and the connection you have established AND if he wants to. After all, what benefit would it be for him to provide more to you because you want it? You are already doing what you are doing with him. When you are asking for a raise…does your performance reflect a pay raise that is justified. I help women better position themselves with getting what they want. If you want to see how I an help, maybe we should talk to better prepare yourself for when you are ready to ask.

  5. It's a secret

    Hello. I started using SA because I know 2 girls who have been doing it for years. I finally thought (after about 5 years of distaste to the idea) ‘why not?’. I am young, beautiful, successful, and want to be better!
    Anyway, I’ve been on a few meetings & have had all kinds of experiences. Be careful, some men are salt daddies, some are producers scouting the next porn star! BLOCKED. I have met 2 SD’s that are very wealthy (over 50mil). I kept 1 and he is head over heels for me. We have been FaceTimeing regularly for 2 weeks. We met up and he gave me a $350 traveling allowance ( that’s pretty low to me, but I thought if we grow, he’d become more generous). I invest a lot of my time to make him feel loved and cared for. I genuinely want to make him happy.

    Before we met (during a FaceTime call), he claimed he would pay my rent/car payment/etc…
    after we met, he claimed to do that plus a biweekly allowance + per meet.
    He asked for my account number. I didn’t feel comfortable sharing that info. I met him once! So he said he’d have to pay me only in person, because he is married and his transactions are documented. I haven’t received any money, but I have a meeting with him tomorrow.
    He wants to get a hotel room. I just don’t feel comfortable with that. I feel pressure. If he expects sex from me so soon, he is going to be very disappointed.
    So some weird things about this SD

    -he’s very needy. Needs me to stroke his ego all of the time. Doesn’t trust me when I say I’m exclusive to him WHEN I AM. I don’t talk to any other men from the site. I’ve been doing everything to make him happy. I am strong, and have been acting vulnerable (it seems he likes that lol). I rearrange my schedule to keep in contact when he asks. He keeps pushing the issue of coming to my place! He doesn’t believe in my privacy, but I have to respect his. It goes both ways. Is this okay? I thought a secret arrangement was supposed skip all of this stress and bs that comes with a normal relationship? Oh! Another thing, he considers this a “relationship” all of the time. It gets under my skin. This is an areangement. We both signed up for the same thing, an he won’t accept that. Wish me luck tomorrow ill give you an update soon. Advice, please

    1. Post
      Taylor Jones

      If it doesn’t feel right. Why go through with it? Are you at rock bottom that you feel you must entertain him? If you don’t want to meet in a hotel room, and you are not expressing how you feel. Well….that is something to look at…that needs to be addressed as well as being able to convey your wants/needs, along with your expectations too.

  6. Mokas

    Hey I’m newbie to all these and I can’t seem to find a sugar daddy. I’m decently pretty clean and am good on my word and chill with almost everything but I can’t find one! I’ve tried apps I’ve tried websites I’ve tried everything and I can’t find anything at all besides people that want to just treat me like I’m a cheap and I mean CHEAP whore. It’s really frustrating. I started trying this to actually experiment in my life but it seems like total bs. If this is how everyone else is being treated I think I’ll pass on this.

    1. Post
      Taylor Jones

      Mokas, have you considered that how you are approaching this is the issue? Sure, you can search and find tons of sites and apps. However, there is a missing element here. How are you going to “market yourself” to attract your ideal, and how are you going to position yourself to getting you what you want to have someone want to provide. And by being a “newbie” you have some learning to do. A labeling ourselves as “Sugar Baby” means nothing. Joining a site doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a place that we will use to attract someone using a profile.

      It seems as though you jumped in without having a full understanding of what you were doing. You haven’t tried everything. It’s just that what you have tried didn’t work. And there is such a thing as doing it the wrong way. I know it can be frustrating and it doesn’t have to be. Not everyone is being treated in the manner you have encountered. It’s only the men you have come in contact with and they don’t represent everyone but themselves. Passing is an option and I’m not going to convince you. I’m here to help women become better marketers and communicators to assist them in getting what they want.

      So how serious are you with this? So, you encountered a few bad apples. Are you going to let them stop you from living the life you want? Maybe you should pass if you aren’t going to take it seriously. No need to waste anymore time. But if you are going to take it seriously, you’ll want to take a step back and have a better understanding of this lifestyle and create a game plan on how you are going to navigate this lifestyle. Do you even have my book? If not, you haven’t tried everything. If you do, and have applied my methods. Send me over what you used, how you used it, and the results you got and I’ll see if you applied it in the right way. You have options. You can either do nothing, or change something to get a different result.

  7. Teya

    I just started doing this and i need some advice.

    I have met 3 sugar daddy only 1 seems genuine. But the only thing is he seems like hes lying about something. On who he is i have never met him. He seems like a chill person. He sent 1800 to me and then another sd i was talking to got jealous when he was about to send me some money and he did something to my account i felt so stupid giving him my account when he seemed so demanding in the first place. I cut all ties with him. But i feel he made multiple pages on SD to talk to me because they are all saying similar things as him. I dont know if i should panic or brush it off. So i am talking to the Sd that sent the 1800 to me. He asked for my new bank account and i gave it to him but something in my gut doesnt seem right about him either i just cant pin point it. I just need advice on how to go about the sd/sb relationship any advice would help.

    1. Post
      Taylor Jones

      I would need to have an in-depth discussion with how you are approaching this. But NEVER give your bank details to anyone. The reason SB’s give their bank details is “in hopes of getting something.” But the end up being scammed. Would you give your mother your bank detail and even your besite. No. Why would you give a “Sugar Daddy” your bank details. A Sugar Daddy is still a man. If they have no interest in meeting you and only focused on your bank details That my SugarSister is a RED Flag. He can send money to you via PayPal. But even PayPal isn’t guaranteed because he can dispute the transaction. I’m not sure if you know this but I have a SB Support Network where you can get help, mentorship, and network with other women in which you don’t have to go through a lot of trial and error and learn from Sugars such as myself. The doors are now closed but you can get on the waitlist. or gain access through my book and have a better understanding of what you are doing: Don’t feel stupid. You just didn’t know any better and he took advantage.

  8. Tori

    It is a hard for black sugar babies. I find white,/black sugardaddies reject African American sugarbabies. How do you overcome this issue?

    1. Post
      Taylor Jones

      Getting rejected doesn’t feel good. People have preferences, and so do you. It’s okay. Your FOCUS should be on who would be susceptible of your charm. And although they reject you…they also made your decision easier for you to not waste your time beating a dead horse. Would you rather have someone be nice and chitchat with you. Or they let you know upfront vs being nice with no intentions of it going anywhere. So, FOCUS on what you can control and that is on your marketing and how you will go about attracting your ideal SD.

      1. Tori

        Its also knowing when men can favorite me, but they have no intentions of meeting. Sugardaddy sites need to weed out average men that earn under 100k. Whatsyourprice some men tried to offer 40 bucks for a date. It was a young black men that did that that makes between 40-50k a year. Its good men are upfront about preferences. Sugardaddy websites lack search that match sugardaddies who is open to ethnic women. Men in their late 40’s or mostly 50’s are open for black women.

  9. Amber

    Why does theses sugar daddy’s keep asking me for my bank account number or to get a visa gift card??? Is it really because they want to start paying me or take money for me

    1. Post
  10. Princessleen

    So I have a sd that I’m interested in . I want a platonic relationship. He messages me and said “Maybe I could meet you for dinner. Nothing sexual. $50 for your time.
    If thing are right, I may ask you to go to Cuba with me in Dec.
    Also spend time in Las Vegas.” I told him that would be great. He asked me for my name and my number . I gave him my number but I told him that I don’t want to give him my real name till we meet or get to know each other better. He seemed fine about it . We set a day that would work. He told me I could pick any restraunt I wanted then he asked for my name again. I’m kinda suspicious about that. Should I tell him my real name should I be suspicious or am I over reacting. This is my first sd date . So I’m very cautious. He also told me he’s very busy so sometimes it takes him a bit to answer. Is this guy a yayyy or a nayyy? And if he ask me how much I want a month what do i say??

    1. Post
      Taylor Jones

      We only trust actions in this lifestyle. That’s how you’ll decide if it’s yayyy or nayyy. And if you don’t know what you want (setting your worth), and what you will give up to get what you want. STOP. How are you navigating this lifestyle? As that is something to look at.

  11. Monique

    So I was recently insulted completely by this offer, after being bombarded with several messages from this man:

    “I would like to know if you can host. I am looking to pay per visit. I would like an hour to an hour and a half with you for a gift if $100 per visit, a few times a month.”

    WOW what a lowball offer! How would you personally reply to this, if at all?

    1. Post
      Taylor Jones

      From what I gather it seems like when it comes to setting the foundation of the relationship there’s some uncertainty how to do it. What you want and what another person wants are two different things. It’s not going to come down to those lowball offers. It’s how well you are marketing yourself to attract a higher caliber of man, in addition how well you can communicate your wants/needs to have another person see you as worth it. Either you will entertain him or not. Either you will ask for more or don’t. Either you want the same type of relationship he seeks or you don’t. You don’t have to waste your time if you don’t want to if it’s not an ideal situation.

  12. Destiny

    I have a potential SD but he is asking for all my banking information he sent a pic of his ID and his credit cards I don’t what I should do

    1. Post
      Taylor Jones

      Have you met him? Do you trust him? And has he proven himself to you? There are other ways he can transfer money to you (squarecash, Paypal, Westren Union etc). What if he stole someone’s identity and you get caught up in the aftermath? It’ll be problematic for you. Now, I want you to think about someone who is adamant about getting your bank info and not adamant in getting to know more about you… Red flag for sure.

  13. Anna

    My potential sugar daddy wants to meet at ihop cause its right next to the train to just chat and see if we kick it off over some coffee and tea, then go back to his place to smoke.. hes super laid back so I get the smoke vibe…. but ihop? Hmmm

    I suggested a wine bar down the st…

    Thoughts??? 😬

    1. Post
      Taylor Jones

      How are you prequalifing someone? How are you approaching this? Is this the experience you are looking to have: IHOP, and smoke!?! If so you are getting what you want, you should be happy with it. If not, STOP and take a step back to understand what you are doing. From one SugarSister to another, don’t allow yourself to get used when you are worth so much more for what you’ll end up giving up.

  14. Cynthia

    Hi, so I just got a sugar daddy and he seems happy. He only pays my rent, how do I ask him for money for my upkeep and other things without coming off as a gold digger. He has very bad experiences with them .

    1. Post
      Taylor Jones

      You have an open discussion with him and make your pitch. He’s giving you a reason not to give. That reason, “I’ve had bad experiences” blah, blah… So why are you here? For rent money. No. You want more out of this. You need to give him a reason why you are worth it. You can’t ask for a raise just because you want it without demonstrating your value. If all you are doing is showing up in your relationship, he has no reason to give more. After all, why would he? He gives you rent and you keep coming back. He doesn’t have an issue. You do. If you don’t know how to showcase your value and pitch it the right way. That is something to look at.

  15. Storm

    Hi I’m kind of new to this sugar baby thing but I’ve been searching for months and still no luck. I have two kids that are young so I can’t travel or stay over night. I just moved back home to my birthplace so I don’t have my own place yet. So how will that even work?

    1. Post

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