Labeling positives reinforces them; labeling negatives diffuses them.

By doing so it gives you the opportunity to look over what is being expressed and communicated by your Sugar Daddy and choose what direction you want to guide them towards.

What they express and how they express it gives you a Sugar Buffet of choices.

“It sounds like it’s important to you to find just the right match who can be there for you when you need her.”

This was the label that sealed the deal for an arrangement. That label, created the tipping point that established a bond of trust. The Sugar Daddy was seeking someone he could confide in based on his marital status. Yes, that’s right he was married.

“It seems like you don’t like providing financial assistance to help someone you care for on a continuous basis.”

This was the label that played a key role in opening up the conversation where a Sugar Daddy (who didn’t want to feel taken advantage of by a gold-digger or feel as though the relationship would be transactional and wasn’t fond of an allowance arrangement).

Positive and negative: choose a side

Any thought or idea expressed by someone carries a preference of like or dislike intertwined within it. This like is what I refer to as a positive.

Dislike, lack of appreciation for something, is what I mean by a negative.

The positive or negative emotion intertwined in someone’s reaction is a clue to how they value it. Exchanges of value are the essence of negotiating the foundation to the special relationship you desire.

You can even label indifference! Your counterpart’s reaction to that label will reveal more information about what they value or why they are indifferent.

Any passion, feeling, or expressed thought has both a presenting and an underlying emotional tone to it, both a yin and a yang, so to speak. The thought will be presented overtly either as positive or negative.

You have a choice of which side you want to label.

Sugar Daddy’s who are traditionalists dislike transactional relationships (allowances). They will bring you into their lifestyle and you can benefit but he doesn’t want to pay you to be there (give an allowance).

Sugar Daddy’s who are “married/in a situation” are more receptacle to allowances because you know their place with them.

“It seems like you don’t like providing financial assistance to help someone you care for on a continuous basis” could become“It sounds like you dislike transactional relationships where it feels like you are dating an escort.”

Listening to what is being expressed by your Sugar Daddy and breaking down the components in this fashion is what begins to slow time down for you without actually slowing the process down. What is happening is your ear and mind are working together to pick apart the components of what your Sugar Daddy is expressing to “read between the lines” and gather insights to help you better position yourself on how you want to be perceived.

As part of your preparation process, consider and write down a summary different types of situations you will likely encounter. Then consider the predictable positives and negatives your counterpart is likely to bring to the table. Whether these “predictables” are reasonable or not, isn’t relevant.

Prepare 3-5 labels in advance to deal with them.

Inoculate at the start

You can choose to use some of these labels preemptively, to effectively inoculate your counterpart from having a negative feeling.

“This is going to sound a bit harsh…I have heard horrific stories where women get taken advantage of. Men sleep with them and nothing transpires. Where men are telling them that they will give them the world. [3 second pause] I feel pretty lucky to have come across someone like yourself. I am in safe hands right? [wait for their answer] Let’s make sure we are on the same page in terms of what we both are looking for, and making sure this is something we both want. I value your wants and needs as well as my own, and working together to build a special relationship that makes us both happy. [3 second pause] I want more than just the monetary aspect of this type of relationship, but it is something that I would like the person in my life to contribute. How do you feel about contributing to me in that way?

“This is going to sound a bit harsh…” is a great label to lead off with when you know yourcounterpart is going to have a negative reaction to what you are getting ready to say.

IMPORTANT: You pause for a moment (a 3 second effective pause) and follow it with what you believe will be poorly received.

For whatever reason, people’s imaginations get so carried away they think of something really bad and they will listen even more! Then whatever you follow up with actually turns out to be a bit of a relief!

Every single time this label has been used, the response was received as not being so bad and receptive with discussing the particular details of the arrangement.

Use this power preemptively and wisely. Maximize your contextual intelligence.