How You Truly Feel about The “F” Word

Sugar Babies will walk away from arrangements that would otherwise make them better off, if they feel they’ve been treated unfairly or worse feel used.

That “F” word is “fair”.

“Fair” is the “F” word in your arrangements.

It comes up in almost every time when you are negotiating your worth.

It’s directly related to your feelings. Whether or not you are getting a fair arrangement or if you are getting the end of the stick of being taken advantage of.

This can often become very personal.

If your Sugar Daddy uses this word you have a BIG problem (or gives you an indication –he doesn’t have to say “fair” to imply it).

People will walk away from arrangements that would otherwise make them better off if they feel they’ve been treated unfairly or feel as though they are being used.

“Fair” comes up in three contexts, two of which are accusatory.

1. The Defensive Sugar Daddy

The “F” word can be used by someone not meaning to make an accusation against you, but simply intending to defend themselves. This might take the form of “What am I getting for $X?”

This accusation will immediately trigger emotions of defensiveness and discomfort in you. These are often very subtle, almost invisible to you. Accusations tend to create emotional defensive reactions.

Example: A Sugar Daddy was seeking a sugar baby. She immediately went into the amount she was looking for from an allowance. Consequently, he didn’t know much about the SB except that they both are on the same dating site. He read her profile and viewed her profile pictures and didn’t know much more (they have yet to talk on the phone).

The Sugar Daddy responded to the Sugar Baby – “What’s in it for me? What do I get in return?”The Sugar Baby took on the defensive approach from his response. After all, she is seeking an allowance and it’s better to get that out the way. And when he balked at the amount and wished her well by sending her on her way. There was missed connection from the Sugar Daddy as he could not mentally justify the amount and only focused on the amount. Money doesn’t have any feelings. People do, and how you make someone feel.

2. Manipulation

Sugar Daddy: “This is fair”, “I’m providing a lot from my side and it’s more than fair”…

Sugar Baby: “I’m giving up a lot of my time and it’s more than fair that I should get $X”…

Anytime a Sugar Baby self-describes her wants as being “fair” it’s likely an intentional manipulation to get her SD to give in. It also can be an irritant for the Sugar Daddy and may well consequently diminish the connection of setting a foundation to the arrangement.

Anytime when a Sugar Daddy is feeling as though what he is providing is fair, he can’t mentally justify the request of what is wanted to feel as though it is worth it to him.

Example Sugar Baby: The Sugar Daddy suggested that he wants to see you for 3 times a week for only $X amount. And that amount that was suggested was below what you were hoping to receive. You feel as though it’s not fair because of what he is worth and he can do a lot more.

Remember: Something is worth, what someone is WILLING to pay for!

Example Sugar Daddy: The Sugar Baby wants to have him pay for the travel expenses to meet him and she wants $X amount allowance and she wants him to prove himself by buying something for her or paying a bill before they even meet. He feels as though it’s not fair because he doesn’t even know if he even likes her yet or if she would be worth it to him.

3. Proactive (Recommended)

You can be proactive with the “F” word.

It’s acceptable to tell your Sugar Daddy at the beginning when you have established a connection to move forward and into an arrangement that you value both his needs and yours and want to try to form the right foundation in which would make both of you happy with where the special relationship will go. And that you want them to tell you if they think your request is not aligned with what they are thinking. (Note the timing of this: how strong of a connection you have made)

Be both conscious of your timing and with using the “F” word (or the implying of it). Understand its implications as it will put the other person in the defensive zone. Please do, in fact strive find a happy medium to the relationship you want by taking into the consideration of the other person’s needs.

Understand what your Sugar Daddy perceives to be fair. If they feel you’re being unfair you’re your request or not in a position to afford you…they could well walk away from the arrangement that would make them better off.