Category : Mindset, Strategy & Approach

OK, let’s clear one thing up right away.

YES there ARE men who are WILLING to give you a monthly…and they DO have the ability to provide what you’re worth.

(And trust me, you’re worth more than you think!)

Now let’s move on to what’s holding you back.

The little thing – 3 letters – that gives you pause.

Because he’s not a mind reader and you have to A-S-K.

You have to ASK for what you want.

Want the monthly? You gotta ASK.

Asking for what you want paves the way for him to provide.

Sad thing is, ‘asking’ is something most of us have been programmed to avoid.

Since a very young age, many of us have placed our needs on the back burner.

Asking makes us uncomfortable.

We feel awkward/ greedy/ pushy/ mean/ ungrateful.

All of our subconscious programming is screaming at us to stop!

To back off!

To be nice!

To accommodate everyone before yourself!

So, while you KNOW the value of what you offer and are willing to give FAR outweighs what you are requesting…you just can’t get out the words.

It’s also the fear of rejection.

When he asks, “what do you want?” and you respond…your stomach drops when he seems surprised. The feeling of unworthiness sets in.

You start questioning if your ask is too high. Can anyone afford to provide this?

It’s a draining process, this second guessing and approach shifting.

Maybe you’re even starting to think about settling in an “OK” relationship.

Like maybe you weren’t cut out for this lifestyle and should just return to vanilla dating. Or take life on solo. Figuring it out all alone 🙁

Listen, if any of this resonates, I want to tell you something…

You CAN do this…

You ARE worth it…

And there are men out there in a position who can (and want to) provide!

There IS a path forward that doesn’t leave you feeling stressed out or worthless…

I used to be in the exact situation I described above.

I was stuck in relationships where I gave and gave but didn’t receive.

Maybe because that was normal. I was familiar with relationships that left me undervalued, unappreciated, uninspired, and constantly second guessing why I stayed.

One day I decided to change my approach and not settle.

Because I was tired and wanted more. I WANTED AN UPGRADE (YOU TOO?).

I chose to leave behind meaningless relationships. Not because they weren’t good enough. By many standards, they were perfectly acceptable. But I wasn’t accepting average. I had higher expectations.

You know what really paved the way for me?

Taking proud ownership of what I wanted and ASKING for it.

It was kind of an ‘all or nothing’ moment…

I’m forever grateful for that revelation.

And I want to help you #own what you want, too.

The first step? The A-S-K!

When I was new to Sugaring, I would just accept whatever.

Whatever he suggested. Whatever he could afford. Whatever he thought I was worth.

…And I’d be happy to even have somebody providing!

Or so I thought.

The novelty quickly wore off. Soon the “accept anything” approach left me feeling oh so degraded.

Now, I’m not saying that having him provide each time he sees you is a bad thing.

What I’m saying is that I wanted was something steady, constant, and dependable.

CUE THE MONTHLY ALLOWANCE!

Here’s the truth: It’s unlikely that he will suggest providing regular assistance.

That’s something you have to initiate via an eloquent and persuasive request.

If you’re saying, “Yes, Taylor, I know I need to be vocal about my wants, but I really struggle with actually carrying this out…where do I start to even ask for him to provide monthly?”

Know that requesting a monthly allowance (and getting it) is a learnable skill.

And please, above all else, know that you do NOT have to lower your standards to accommodate undesirables.

And if you are not asking for his monthly assistance when you want him to assist you financially, you’re leaving an opportunity on the table to receive more.

Asking for a monthly is a skill that some can pull off naturally. And by some, I mean few.

The majority of women I work with struggle with asking for what they want. And it makes sense.

Negotiating arrangement terms isn’t easy as a Sugar Baby, especially when you’re new to it. Allow me to paint a picture…

Standard Sugar Negotiation of the Awkward Variety:

SD = Sugar Daddy
SB = Sugar Baby

SD: Why are you here?

SB: …What are you looking for?

SD: What do you want?

SB: …What would you like to provide?

SD: I’m cool with whatever you want as long as you provide me with what I need.

SB: …Help me by not having me say it, you should know!

**Cringe! Trying to set the foundation of a beneficial relationship can be the worst!

When neither person takes the reins, yet both are looking for the other’s lead, you’ll eventually be stuck in frustration. It’s even harder when you really, really want something (allowance, upgraded lifestyle, freedom from debt, top mentorship, etc.) but you just can’t get out the words to actually ASK for it.

Maybe you excelled at creating magical sparks, reeling him in. But at some point you HAVE TO transition out of ‘getting to know you land’. Remember what you came for.

WHY YOU ARE HERE???? JUST GIVE ME WHAT I WANT!

(Ok, I’m getting carried away.)

But really, can he provide you with what you are seeking? Do you even know? If you’re not seasoned in the art of Sugar negotiation, THIS WILL BE HARD AS HELL.

You know you need to get to the heart of things—securing what you want—but you’d like to avoid sounding overeager, pushy, and only interested in one thing.

So instead, you end up in these long, drawn out pointless conversations. You listen as he tells you all the things he’ll do to your body, mixed in with more pic requests.

It sucks but YOU have the power to guide the conversation to the next phase. Own it!

(To be clear, we want him to talk, but we don’t want him to wander off into a garden of irrelevant tangents, which he will do.)

Once again, this comes down to having the right language tools.

Being able to guide the conversation, in a way that feels genuine, is one of the best things you can learn.

Using language that demonstrates authenticity and confidence will showcase your worth.

And what happens when you showcase your worth?

…You can get what you want. Considering the person you have attracted can provide and is willing.

…YOU CAN GET A MONTHLY ALLOWANCE!

Because what’s better than financial assistance? Regular, predictable, monthly streams of his generosity pouring onto you.

Discover how to get his monthly assistance and avoid the dreaded, “I’ll give each time I see you!”

My new Sugar Guide – ASKING FOR A MONTHLY ALLOWANCE…AND GETTING IT– covers all this and more.

You’ll learn each step of setting yourself up with asking for the monthly, gain important understanding on your Sugar Daddy (or prospective SD’s) mindset, As well as tips for building arrangement trust.