Communicating our needs and wants within our special relationships is such an integral part of any lifestyle, but especially ours.
What we are worth isn’t always exactly what someone wants to provide. Trying to find a happy balance within the relationship from the start has a variety of perspectives, not all of them logical.
Your value to someone is $0, until they see your worth.
Ho Tactics Don’t Work
Contrary to the latest Ho Tactics you are trying to use (wisdom dropped by G.L Lambert How to Mind f**k a Man Into Spending, Spoiling, And Sponsoring), there’s no universal persuasion tactic that will work every time —or if there was, it stopped working after the 10 Sugars before you used it on him.
There’s one thing you can be sure of. From the time you engage with someone to the moment when you take what is given, you’re selling the relationship you are looking to have.
Whatever type of relationship you are seeking.
You gotta use the right bait to attract that person to pay attention to you.
And…
…you gotta ASK (he’s not a mind reader).
Think of asking as a way to give him an opportunity to want to provide (and remember even if they can provide, they still have to be asked, he’s no mind reader).
4 Tips to Set the Right Foundation
Before you panic, use these four tried-and-true tips to help set the foundation to the relationship you are seeking and pave the way for getting you what you want.
1. Save yo’self and cheat (prepare a cheat sheet)
Your cheat sheet should outline your goals and layout your deal breakers.
Write out questions you know you’ll need to ask to get it.
Know how to position yourself as valuable.
Seeking his financial generosity? Before hitting him with the $3,000 allowance. Does he even want to provide in that way?
Brainstorm how you can uncover what will motivate your prospects to want to provide the very thing you seek.
Prepare for objections that someone will have beforehand.
Know why would someone say “no” to your request.
Anticipate their reactions and have a response ready to go.
2. Uncover what they meant, not what they said
Ask 10 men how they would spoil you and you’re bound to get 10 different answers.
…Why?
Because we all spoil differently and use our own values, experiences, and perceptions to -show appreciation and affection.
When it comes to gaining influence and avoiding misunderstandings, specificity is queen.
More important than any question you’re asked is the reason you’ve been asked that question.
Asking the right types of questions will help you uncover the meaning and intent behind someone’s words. That will help you with positioning yourself in a way that paves the way for him to provide.
Before you reveal what your last Sugar Daddy provided, wouldn’t you like to know why they’re asking and how they’ll use that information?
“It seems like what someone has done for me prior would have an effect on what we are trying to establish between each other now.”
“What makes you ask?”
Both responses encourage him to expand on his point and reveal his thought process. You may discover that his type of spoiling is different from what you were thinking.
3. Shift the perception of “I’m not looking for it to be transactional”
It’s not uncommon for Sugars to crack when they are met with this objection when it comes to asking for an allowance. Most Sugars fumble with redirecting that objection (I know I did).
It’s easy to be blinded by how someone reacts and forget why they are feeling that way to begin with.
Here’s the thing…
Your prospects don’t want to mentor you, give you an allowance, or upgrade your lifestyle (and bank account).
They want some type of positive result for themselves too.
Are you only focused on what they can provide without focusing on why they would even want to?
If so, it could be that you aren’t selling the relationship in the right way.
4. Don’t ignore the “HOW”
No matter the circumstance, if he agrees to the relationship, a “yes” without a “how” is a dangerous thing.
Do you want to run into surprises after he agreed to provide? (You know, wondering when he will actually give.)
I’m sure you don’t.
You want to follow it up with the how!
What’s that how? It’s the “HOW” will it be given and WHEN.
The Takeaway
How you approach setting the foundation to the relationship determines the direction it moves in.
