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Divorced Mom Discovers Sugar Baby Lifestyle
When it comes to Sugar Babies, popular culture tends to depict them in the same image: a young, college-age woman who could appear on the cover of a magazine. But “Texasugah” is set to change the way the world views Sugar Babies, one person at a time.
Texasugah is a 38-year-old mother living in the Houston, Texas area. Her world is her son – and she works hard to make sure he has everything. She works hard for her success, and it shows: she has two masters’ degrees from top Texas universities, a rewarding career that almost spans two decades, and a mastery of three languages.
Texasugah wants women of all ages to know that Sugar Babies can be of any age and background.
Read on for some careful insight into how Texasugah makes her Sugar Baby journey work for her and her son:
- How long have you been divorced?
I have been divorced for 4.5 years. One of the best decisions I have made in my life. He was emotionally and verbally abusive. Beyond that, he just couldn’t seem to keep a job. I think the lack of giving from my ex, trickled down into my desire for a sugar lifestyle.
- Have you ever explored this lifestyle prior to getting married?
I was online in 1994. At that point in time, only the wealthy were online. If you ran into a man online, he generally had quite a bit going for him. My first experience was through AOL personals. I had read a lady’s profile looking for a “mutually beneficial” relationship. I was raised very sheltered and thought I would just see what would happen, never thinking anything about the sexual aspect of it. I met up with a gentleman in the Hamptons online. OH.. If I’d only known then what I know now. He told me that his secretary was a mistress’ friend and that he would love to have me as his mistress. Of course, I thought he was blowing smoke. Until he sent me money orders through the post office. The mistress secretary set it up. That happened about 3 times for a total of about 3K. And I hadn’t met him. Then there came time to meet and… I chickened out. Hey, I was young.
The next sugar I had was when I moved for my first masters. Again, I ran an ad online. The man that I met was wonderful. We were together for about a year. On our first date, we drove down to Houston in his Corvette. He told me I could pick one thing that I really wanted in the Galleria. I chose a LV purse. And… he bought it. After that he handled my rent, utilities and shopping.
- What attracted you to this lifestyle?
After my divorce, I determined that I wouldn’t be taken advantage of by a man again. Period. I had been successful with sugar relationships and I truly enjoy the company of men 50+. Why not have the best of both worlds. After the divorce I found myself with a ton of debt and a special needs child. My sugar handles his therapy to get past his touch of Autism, and its working.
- What do you hope to achieve?
My goals now are to minimize the debt from my marriage and to save. I want to also do some renovations on my home and travel.
- How were you introduced into this lifestyle?
I was introduced through surfing AOL personals back in 1995.
- What do you think your SD expectations of you should be/What do you bring into the relationship?
I believe that my SDs should expect me to be the woman that they have been dreaming of. What I have found is that they just want a soft place to land. Someone who isn’t going to argue with them and listen to them. A woman who is sensual and wants them for who they are. They should expect that. I have turned down many men because I knew that I have to fake the whole thing and it just wasn’t going to be good for either one of us.
I bring intelligence first and foremost. Regardless of their professions or interests I know something about it. If not, I will learn between meetings. I am very presentable. Meaning that I can dine in a 5 star restaurant and they don’t have to worry that I’ll make an ass of myself. I can hold an intelligent conversation but also be silly and fun. I am emotionally available for them. I care about their well being and that also means that I have to be very picky. I’m not just a sugar baby, I’m their girlfriend/mistress.
- How much time do you devote to the relationship?
I have a life. As I said, my son is my world. I see my number 1 sugar daddy weekly. We also have times that we go out just for lunch to chew the fat. I don’t think that I will increase the time that we see each other because I need to be available for my child.
- Do you allow your Sugar Daddies to meet your child?
My number 1 has met my son on a few occasions. Mostly for dinner or lunch. We aren’t all over each other and my son thinks that he’s a friend, which he is. He only met my son after we had been together for a year.
- What are the age ranges of your Sugar Daddies?
My sugars have only been in their 50s. I don’t go younger. I’m not interested in younger men at all.
- Do you date more than one Sugar Daddy?
Only recently have I thought about having more than one. My sugar is fine about me having another relationship. He’s not selfish because he’s married. I am currently looking for another sugar daddy. One who wants to see me no more than twice a month.
- What advice do you have for women who are mothers wanting to get into this lifestyle?
Having a sugar daddy as a single mother is a wonderful thing. Having someone who is dependent on you, you just can’t waste your precious time on a man who isn’t going to do something for you. I know that all moms say that they don’t have time to do anything. If you were to find a man who cares about you and also lessens your burden, you’ll make the time. I suggest finding a sugar that will take care of your childcare expenses. They are out there. Then, if you have the option, have a family member watch your child. That’s money for your child.
You may have sugars who want you to travel with them. I would seriously consider that ONLY after you have been in a relationship for a while. Things aren’t just about you anymore and if anything happens to you, heaven forbid, what will happen to your child. This can give you time away so that you can be a better mom when you return.
Getting things just for you… if you are a great mom, you put your child first. I am very into investing in myself. I use a part of my sugar to get my nails done, hair done and the like. If I’m looking good and feeling good, I have the stuff to attract an even better sugar. That is exactly what I am doing now.
When you are looking for a sugar, don’t bring up the child right away. It makes them think that you won’t have time for them; however, when the conversation comes to your life, it’s fine. The SD will probably ask if you will have time to see him as well. This is usually when I mention having a babysitter.
- What dilemmas have you encountered that have held you back and have you overcame them?
My dilemma is pretty unique to me. My job is one where I am in a building during the day. There’s no afternoon delight. Many men are looking for something sweet during working hours. That can’t change. I work around it by touting my early release from work and the vast amount of time off. They usually go with that,
I did have the black girl issue. However, I make sure that my letters are well written and complimentary. That issue, is no longer an issue anymore. Men like variety and I play on that. Being something other than what they have at home. I am very unique. I flaunt that and enjoy it.
Another roadblock I’ve come across is men from “up North” that are interested. I can’t travel like that.. So many options have been closed to me.
Interested in learning more about Texasugah and her Sugar Baby lifestyle? Visit her website at here.
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Comments 11
interesting story, and good luck to you with everything. I just think I won’t get anyone because even though I have a great profile, my age seems to be a barrier, I think guys do a search and I won’t even come up in their search. if they search by age range, for example. I am 40. who wants a 40 yr old sugarbabe? 65 yr old guys have 20 yr old sugarbabes, because they CAN.
and I also read the following on a blog that concerns me now:
“And let me leave you with the following question, just to be the devil’s advocate: Would a man respect a woman who is 37 or 40, and who by that time is supposed to have figured life out, to be in a position to be a sugar baby? i.e. needing a man’s help?”
makes me wonder if I am ever gonna find a decent sugardad, not a loser type, but a good one with tons of $ who would not discriminate . I also heard you get less allowance the older you are, is this true?
Author
Let’s look at the reality of it all. A Sugar Daddy is still a man. Now, with that being said how are you at 40 years old still playing the same game as a 20 year old and trying to make this lifestyle work. You can’t. A Sugar Baby is sill a woman. What’s the point of being a woman if you don’t know how to use it to your advantage. The issue is “not your age” it’s how you are approaching this lifestyle and how you are going about finding your ideal Sugar Daddy.
If you use your age as an excuse than of course you are not going to get anywhere within this lifestyle. You have to know and understand how to market yourself. We are all selling something. You just need to know what that is and position yourself in the best possible way. I teach women how to do just that. You are focusing on the wrong things. You should be focusing on what you are hoping to achieve from where you are in your life, and who would be most ideal for what you are looking for, and target him. When you target someone you are now focusing your efforts on marketing yourself towards him to attract him. Sugar Daddy dating sites made it convenient but you can target a Sugar Daddy off a dating site too. After all, a Sugar Daddy is sill a man. It’s not about getting less as an older woman it’s as even younger women struggle with getting what they want too. It depends on the person.
I am so grateful for your help and this article. I am an older divorcee/single mom and just recently had a devastating break-up. I struggle financially on my own but I’ve decided that I just can’t put my faith in a partner to help. I really think this is the path I want to take to support my daughter the way I want to and invest in our future. Although I am older- and after reading this post I know that I am not “out of the market”. What I can’t seem to find anywhere is what and how to charge. Do I charge by the hour? Day? Week? Month?
Author
Hey Marly,
First off, “How are you planning on navigating this lifestyle?” That is where you want to start. You want to focus on how you are going to approach this. Although you are not out the game; you can’t use the same tactics as your younger version of yourself would. That means you have to be strategic with all of this. In terms of charging what are you going to do to get what you want? And what type of man are you attracting that will pay by the hour? The only guy that comes to mind is a John seeking an escort. If that is the approach than it doesn’t matter what you charge. Because you’ll be playing then numbers game.
Actually I think older women have a far greater advantage and are more successful in the long run then younger women. Younger women aren’t equipped to play the emotional game that is required in sugaring! I know I wasn’t when I was sugaring in my late 20’s. Many SD’s are extremely successful in business but lack relationship skills, emotional stability and self esteem when it comes to personal matters. Dealing with this isn’t for the faint of heart and many younger woman have a hard time maneuvering these issues. There are so many roles an SB plays that goes beyond just great sex, sometimes your a friend, a counselor, a mommy lol, a seductress, a fantasy and that requires one to think multi denominational at all times.
Secondly, younger women often lack the confidence that’s needed to deal with very successful men which relates back to my prior statement of being able to handle not only your own emotions but those of your SD’s as well.
Lastly, I asked both of my current SD’s who are both in their 50’s (I’m 40) why they weren’t dating 20 year olds. They both said they have nothing in common with someone whose 20, they need a connection. Yeah a 20 yr old might be fun in the bedroom but they could never take them to work functions, introduce to family/friends or even in public they would act like father/daughter which isn’t what many SD’s are interested in.
I sugared when I was in my late 20’s until I met a daddy that turned relationship for 8 yrs and now at 40 I have two SD’s. I make far more money and gifts from my SD’s now then I did 10 years ago. I attribute that to my ability to attract and keep a sugar daddy where as I didn’t have the mental capacity to do it 10 years ago. They take me on vacation, buy me gifts, I had one buy me a Lexus in addition to my allowance. I still have things going on in my life like a full time job, hobbies and friends. So now sugaring isn’t so much about “helping me through college” as it is allowing me to save for my future and live a comfortable life.
So don’t let anyone tell you your to “old”. Your never to old to be treated well. Sugar Babies are wanted, all ages, all sizes, all colors.
Thank you so much for this comment. I will be 33 soon and just don’t like broke guys, it’s very annoying, they have trouble paying for simple things.
I think back and had a few guys when I was in college and right after that probably wanted to be my SD, but I was far too innocent and naive to ever play that game, so just stopped dating them. Had I known that I could have gotten things and trips, I would have definitely jumped right in.
But now, I am really smart, really perceptive, and still am nice so I feel like I would be able to contend now and pick the best sugar daddies for me. I tend to do really well with men in higher positions at work so I think this could transfer to my dating also.
I just am working on looking more the part now, subtly sexy and not as flashy as I used to be. Honestly, you’ve given me so much hope. I am sort of excited to date my next guy because I know it will be far more beneficial than my ex (he was also verbally abusive and mentally).
Author
I’m glad that you found it helpful. You have more working for yourself than just looking the part. Understand what you are doing and that is 100% marketing yourself. When you understand your prospects you’ll be in a better position in marketing yourself to attract them. I am EXCITED for your next guy and it will be beneficial based on how you go about teaching the next man on how you want to be treated.
Hi Guys,
I am a 26 year old single mother, working full time, I studied and was in the top 10 of 2009 in Boston.
I am 90kg – 1.5 in height, stretch marks because of my pregnancy.
Could I become a sugar baby?
Author
Hi Euneda, The question isn’t so much can you become a sugar baby. It’s do you believe you can? Your success within this lifestyle will be dependent upon how well you can market yourself to attract your sugar daddy and position yourself to getting what you want. A sugar daddy is still a man, and you are still a woman.
I just entered my first SD/SB relationship and I’m 45. A single mom and I a career woman. I sought this because I wanted some home remodeling done and didn’t want to live paycheck to paycheck anymore. I had an attorney I was just FWB for the last 4 years. I finally figured out I should be seeking someone willing to help me.
I’m completely happy and lucky! My SD and I text every day at least once. He’s very nice and easy going. He was looking at SB’s 35+.
Yes, there is a large amount of men who prefer women well past their 20’s! Most want someone they can relate to and communicate with. I’ve been told many times that they liked me because I can spell and use proper grammar! LOL
NO DRAMA is another huge plus!
I was picky in my search as I’ve heard others mention. I must like the personality and physical features. There are plenty of flakes, as with any other site, but 2 months on the site and I’ve found a great, sweet and genuine SD!
If you believe you are mentally and emotionally capable of trying this type of relationship, go for it and the best of luck to you!
Author
You Rock Sandy! Thanks for sharing your story. You are so right about men preferring women past their 20’s. That’s a common misbelief that this lifestyle is for the younger version of ourselves.