My client, let’s call her Halle, met someone on Seeking.
On her first date she said she was looking for $5,000.
He was taken back.
He said straight away ‘too much’.
She said, “4K?”
Halle was met with “NO”.
She asked, “What are you thinking, 1K per two meetings per month? I could be ok with 3.5, but I’m used to more.”
Although it wasn’t true she was looking to start somewhere.
He said he had to leave, and he will think about it. She asked if he could let her know by the end of the week.
He said it wouldn’t even take that long.
Before the day was over he was in her inbox saying, “It was lovely to meet you today – thank you for making time. Unfortunately, what you are looking for is far above what I’m comfortable with, but I wish you all the very best in your search.”
Ouch.
Halle thought that it was good that she now knows that he can’t provide an allowance as she didn’t have to waste more of her time (have you felt that way too? better to get it out the way vs investing more time??)
…I needed to give Halle a Sugar Intervention.
I told her that I could get the arrangement if she wanted it.
It only took six words to put my plan in motion.
Those six words: this is awkward don’t you think.
After I took over her text messages we were left with, “Then perhaps we should talk further about our expectations.”
Which led to another date and her repitching the relationship.
And just like that, we reeled him back in and she ended up with a monthly allowance of $2K.
The Takeaway:
I want you to keep in mind that on the surface, a “No” may be interpreted as an obstacle when in fact it is the first step towards setting the foundation to the arrangement and many cases getting what is wanted.
Understanding the different facets of “No” is critical to our Sugar Baby success.
There are two kinds of “Nos.”
- One is used for protection.
- The other is used for rejection.
Most “NOs” that we hear are from Sugar Daddies seeking to avoid getting used, and don’t see us as worth it.
It is often hard for us to see this because often when our Sugar Daddy says “No” we feel rejected.
We take it personally.
We need to understand that a rejection is not a rejection of us personally.
We become better at getting what we want when we can make that distinction.
In addition, “No” usually represents confusion and fear on some level.
The fear and confusion of the Sugar Daddy is mentally justifying if it’s worth it to him and protecting himself from being used.
What are you going say to get what you want and have him want to… even if he says NO?
